Some of you who have been following these reviews may, actually, be wondering: "Geez! Rob is taking a lot of trouble to offer his opinions on each season of Doctor Who! I wonder which season is his least favorite?"
Let me make it perfectly clear by explicitly stating it's this one.
I know some fans like to claim Season Twenty-Four is the worst. Or Series Eleven from New Who. While I can only defend these seasons so well, I will also say I don't think either of them are as bad as most people say. Whereas there are other fans that agree with my sentiment regarding Seventeen. And I won't argue with them in the slightest. This, to me, is Doctor Who at its all-time lowest.
It's not just the worst season of Classic Who. It's the worst season of Doctor Who, ever.
And yet, as I get into my review, I will probably only be able to tear things apart so well. In my opinion, even bad Doctor Who is better than most TV shows when they're at their best (particularly Star Trek. Bad Doctor Who still blows Star Trek away!). So there will still be mercy and restraint as I dive into my opinions regarding what is the worst season the show has ever given us.
ADMITTING A BIAS
So we open this Season with Destiny of the Daleks. I should admit, right out of the gate, that I will probably be gentler on this one than I should be. Destiny made a very strong first impression on me.
I first discovered Doctor Who back in the early 80s. It should be noted that I live in a Canadian town that sits right on the border of the US. This enabled me to pick up several PBS stations from both countries. All of them were showing Doctor Who on different days and times. It was inevitable that, at some point, I would run into the show while channel-surfing. And I did, of course. I watched an episode here and there or even snippets of episodes, sometimes (my very first experience with the show was the latter half of Part Three of Power of Kroll - the little green men really grabbed my attention!). I very quickly caught on that this was a show that worked in installments. And that, thus far, I had only seen sections of larger tales. What I had watched had piqued my interest so I decided I would commit to watching a story in its entirety. A certain TV channel was showing one episode per weekday and I had worked out when they would be starting a new adventure. So I made sure to tune in.
That very first full story that I watched was Destiny of the Daleks.
Clearly, nostalgia is going to cloud my judgement a bit. It's difficult to look at these four episodes and not think about the journey I was transported on when I was a young, impressionable lad taking a proper look at the show for the first time. But I will try to be as objective as possible as I discuss it. It should be noted, however, that Destiny must have been, at least, fairly good as it got me to keep watching the show. Long term, I would develop the most horrible addiction to this programme. And part of that is owed to the quality of this story.
WITH THAT BIAS OUT OF THE WAY, LET'S GET ON WITH IT
After a few entries of trying to be a little different, I think I'll go back to just doing a story-by-story review for this one. I'll even tackle the tales in transmission order. This will present my points in the clearest way possible. Which I think will be a good thing in a Review of this nature.
Even without my bias in place, I tend to be nicer to Destiny of the Daleks than most fans are. This tale seems to do a lot to upset them. Right from the opening scene, people are not happy with the way Romana regenerates. Apparently, Mary Tamm had been very open with Production that she was only doing one season. They seemed to be under the belief that she would change her mind. But she didn't. So they couldn't treat regeneration the way it had been handled when the Doctor was changed over. No big, dramatic swansong for Romana One. We were going to have to settle with something more akin to how we lost Sixie in Time and the Rani. The process was going to have to happen without the actor playing the previous incarnation being involved.
I think the main objection, however, is how much the whole scene is played for laughs. Romana trying on bodies like one might try on outfits was just not how fans wanted to see the process being portrayed. I, of course, was pretty clueless as I watched this for the first time. But it seemed fun and interesting. And that's still the way I view the scene.
The Doctor taunting the Dalek to climb up the shaft after him is another moment that seems to get fans frothing at the mouth. I can see why, of course. By this point, Daleks not being able to climb stairs was a cheap joke British stand-up comics had been abusing for years. Seeing it being done in the show is almost like when Chewbacca finally gets the medal in Rise of Skywalker. It's just not something we want to see openly acknowledged within the Lore of the programme. Mind you, even on my first viewing, I assumed that these strange metal monsters could hover or glide in some way when they needed to. And that the real problem was that the shaft was just a bit too awkward for a Dalek to fit through rather than it being an impossible thing for a Dalek to assail because they can only handle level ground. So, again, I'm not upset by this.
I do feel a bit sorry for poor 'ole David Gooderson. He appears to be everyone's least favorite Davros. But I don't think it's any kind of reflection on his actual performance. He plays the role excellently, in fact. But there's no modulation given to his voice and the BBC wouldn't give the costume department the budget to make a new mask. He looks absolutely awful gliding about in Wisher's gear. A lot of people seem to let technical issues that were beyond the actor's control affect their appreciation of him.
And then, of course, there's the biggest of all the fan objections: Some of the dialogue seems to insinuate the Daleks no longer have an organic component to them. That they are purely robots, now. Maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention the first time I saw this story, but I did not pick up on any of that. I assumed that silly putty Kaled Mutant the Doctor finds when sneaking about the sand dunes is what's living inside the Dalek casing. Upon hearing the complaint, I did pick up on some of that idea in the re-watches. But I'm still gonna have to say that it is super subtle and fairly open to interpretation. So much so, that it's pretty easy to just disregard it rather than be up in arms about it!
SO IF I DON'T AGREE MUCH WITH THE OBJECTIONS, DO I THINK DESTINY IS A MASTERPIECE?!
Admittedly, I do seem to be knocking much of the more popular objections against the story down like nine-pins (if I dare say so, myself!). So does this mean that I am absolutely in love with Destiny of the Daleks and think that it's one of the greatest Classics ever made? Has my bias colored my opinion that badly?!
There are actually a few significant problems with this tale.
Part One seems to have regressed the show back to the Hartnell Days. Where characters just wander around and explore a bit and a whole lot of nothing would happen til we got to the cliffhanger. This was an acceptable way to plot a story back then but you can't really get away with it a decade later! It really does feel like the show is taking a step back, here. Like Terry Nation hasn't realized that TV has evolved significantly since he first started writing for the show.
The plot, in general, is just a bit too much on the light side. There's really not much there to fill the four episodes. The Daleks want Davros. The Movellans decide they want the Doctor. Some slaves get diced in the cross-fire. This feels extra odd because this really is the first time in ages that we've seen this story flaw. This current production team does seem good at cracking the whip with the writers and getting them to hand in something with an adequately-sized premise.
In Nation's defence, this story does have some really excellent pacing. We almost don't notice the lack of plot because it does still feel like the narrative is propelling itself along at a very engaging rate. Things really don't slow down at any point and there's nary a sag to be experienced. But, overall, the story does feel just a bit "hollow" as you get to the end of Part Four and come to terms with the fact that this is all you're really getting.
While still having a grand old time with doctoring up the script to make things funnier (see what I did there? "Doctoring"?!), Tom Baker feels just a little bit more restrained than he was during Armageddon Factor. I will even say that a lot of his antics work more like they did in Invasion of Time. Because the plot is a bit weak, he spices things up with a bit of humor. Having said that, however, there are still quite a few times where the Notorious Line does get crossed (check out the previous entry for a very detailed description of what constitutes "the Line"), Sometimes, his jokes help the story. Other times, they harm it. Things can become quite difficult to watch in places because of this. There are any number of instances where you can see Baker's about to have some fun and you're wondering just how far he'll go with it.
Overall, I do think the season starts off quite decently. Destiny may not be an absolute work of art - but it does a fairly solid job. If things had continued with stories at this level of quality, I certainly wouldn't be calling Seventeen the Worst Season Ever.
CITY OF EXAGGERATION
From this point, onward, the biases end. While I was definitely already a hardcore geek in my adolescence, I still had a surprisingly-active social life. Being home every weekday afternoon to catch a bizarre British sci fi show was just a bit too big of a demand on my schedule. I ended up turning more towards PBS stations that only showed Doctor Who once a week. They were much easier to keep up with. Most of these channels were done with Season Seventeen and had moved on to Baker's final year. So I saw no more of this period until quite some time later.
By the time I was able to catch Season Seventeen in its entirety, Legends of City of Death had reached my ears. This was a work of brilliance by the great genius, Douglas Adams. There would be nothing in life that I would enjoy more than watching these four episodes. My wedding night would seem anti-climactic when compared to viewing this story for the first time (which could explain why I never got married!). I had, by this point, seen Pirate Planet and loved it. So I thought to myself: If City of Death is meant to be even better - it's gonna blow my mind!
As is often the case when people hype something up to me, it rarely lives up to my expectations.
By no means is City terrible. But it's not as great as most people had lead me to believe. Particularly the first episode. I mean, I get that they're filming in Paris and want to show off the location a bit. But some of those establishing shots are going on for an awfully long time! The Doctor and Romana walk through Paris. And walk through it some more. And walk through it some more. They finally arrive at a studio location and some shenanigans ensue for a bit. Then they set off for somewhere else. And walk through Paris. And walk through it some more. And walk through it even more. After doing this a few times, Duggan starts following them. And now it's the Doctor, Romana and Duggan walking through Paris. And walking through it yet more. And yet even more...
Basically, there's a lot of filler in that first episode that is just Parisian scenery with the Doctor and Romana in the foreground. This, to me, does not constitute an engaging Doctor Who story.
I was, in fact, reminded of those horrible last few minutes of Part One of Hand of Fear where we spend a bunch of time walking through a nuclear power plant. I was a bit bothered by this, of course. I was hoping to watch Doctor Who - not enjoy a promotional video for Paris tourism!
So City of Death is actually off to a fairly bad start for me. I do love that opening scene with the Jagaroth and his spider ship. That did look quite nice. But then we can almost jump to Part Two with little or no problem. Aside from stealing some alien tech and getting in trouble for it, the only other major development that occurs in the first episode is that the Doctor and Romana are in Paris. And they establish that quite clearly!
Parts Two to Four do a much better job of living up to City of Death's reputation. There is some absolutely brilliant stuff going on. Another great script by Adams. He definitely comes up with some great core premises to his stories. The final twist that Scaroth's ship exploding will start the human race is particularly clever (so clever, it will get re-used in the plot of one of his Dirk Gently novels)
There are also some amazing supporting characters in this tale. .Duggan is, essentially, a one-note joke. He's still very cleverly crafted. Particularly as he ends up delivering the most important punch in history. But, if the character had not been properly-cast, he could have gotten on our nerves quite quickly. Tom Chadbon, however, is great. He has us wishing Duggan had become a companion.
And Count Scarlioni is quite brilliant. An absolutely delightful villain who was magnificently-portrayed.. But then, Julian Glover always does a great job on the show. And in various other things that I've seen him in over the years.
WHY I LIKED PIRATE PLANET BETTER
Yes, there is definitely a lot to love about this story from the second episode, onwards. But there are still some issues.
Tom Baker's ability to restrain his humor was quite good in Destiny of the Daleks. But it's withering more and more as the season progresses. I think of that one line everyone loves so much: "What a wonderful butler! He's so violent!" This is another one of those things I'd heard endless praise for before actually seeing it. And then, when I finally was able to witness it, all I thought was: "He's being way more camp and silly than I'd really like him to be as he's delivering that line!" Seriously, it felt like bad panto for the first half of that scene as Baker wanders about the set on his knees. Amazingly enough, he does settle down towards the end of that sequence and things go much better. But his desire to take the piss out of things will flare up several more times throughout the tale.
In some ways, I can understand why he's behaving that way. He's performing a script by Douglas Adams. It, clearly, has a lot of jokes in it. But Douglas, himself, has spoken about how frustrating it was for him to see how actors in Who would take what he'd written and try to "jazz it up" even more when it didn't need to be. I do actually think Adams had some very specific tonal ideas for the show that agree quite a bit with my own sentiments about humor in Doctor Who. It's just that, unfortunately, a script editor can only control so much. As the material moves on to other people involved in the production, the initial vision the writer or editor had can become viciously distorted.
Or it could just be that I've always liked Douglas Adams a lot and am reluctant to pin any blame on him!
Part Four also feels ever-so-slightly light on plot. Quite a bit of extra fumbling goes on before Scaroth finally gets his ass to Prehistoric Earth. Some of the more blatant filler is the arc that gets created for the Countess' character in the latter half of the story. Suddenly, the Doctor and an ancient hieroglyph manage to make her suspicious that her husband is an alien. Which creates a five minute confrontation that fills out Part Four quite nicely. She feels genuinely extraneous to the plot as Scaroth just kills her off at the end of the scene. Making us almost wonder if she served any real purpose in the story except to help fill it out at a crucial moment.
There are a few other slightly illogical things that happen during this particular episode. The biggest one being Scaroth deciding to put his gun down just before he time travels. What an unfortunate decision on his part. If he had kept it, Duggan would have had a pretty difficult time punching him. Scaroth would have also been able to shoot his servant when he came back to Paris and saved himself from an untimely death. Good thing he didn't bring that gun, then. Or the whole story would have ended on a much more sombre note! It's almost like he made the poor choice so that conflicts could be resolved more easily!
Nonetheless, I'm trying not to complain too much, here. There is still so much to like about City of Death. But it's not one of those tales that I love as deeply as most of Fandom seems to. Which is why I'm taking the time to point out its flaws. So that you can see why I take the stance I do.
CREATURE FROM THE EXTREMELY UNIMAGINATIVE TITLE
Some of you who have been following these reviews may, actually, be wondering: "Geez! Rob is taking a lot of trouble to offer his opinions on each season of Doctor Who! I wonder which story is his least favorite?"
Creature from the Pit is that story.
There's so much to cover, here. I'll just attack some of the bigger problems. But I assure you: there is little in this adventure that doesn't make me embarrassed to be a Doctor Who fan. It really is absolutely horrible. If I had that D-Mat Gun the Doctor built in Invasion of Time and was allowed to fire it upon a single story from the show - it would be this one. There are a few others that come perilously close to being as bad. The Underwater Menace, The Android Invasion or even The Next Doctor from the New Series. But, thus far, none have beaten the absolute awfulness of this tale.
There is, of course, a really bad choice made by the production team that is similar to one that was executed by their predecessors. So, just like last time, we'll tackle it immediately:
Apparently, lessons were not learnt from Talons of Weng Chiang. Doctor Who had to do something really racist, again. I will admit, it's not quite as offensive as Li H'seng Chang being played by a white guy- but it's still pretty bad. This time, we get a gang of bandits who are meant to be mocking Jewish people. The stereotype of Jews being hopelessly greedy is the trait they play up the most. At one point, they're meant to be running for their lives and they still have to stop for an endless period of time to admire their plunder. Love of their new-found wealth actually seems to rivet them to the spot. The fact that they're all using Jewish accents as they do this makes it painfully obvious who they're making fun of. It's all quite horrifically awkward to watch.
Racism aside, though, this is just one of many problems with Creature. So little of the plot seems to make any kind of real sense. Adastra, for instance, is determined to find out the purpose of the shell in the Place of Death and is going to all sorts of lengths to get people to work it out for her. But, doesn't she know, already? She's the one who greeted Erato fifteen years previously and, somehow, managed to throw him down a pit without anyone knowing. Did she not see him arrive? Even if she didn't, it wouldn't be hard to make an educated guess: "Hmmm.... a creature arrives from the stars to trade metal for vegetables. He leaves behind this big shell after he gets here. It must be some kind of mode of travel. But I still haven't worked this out fifteen years later and regularly threaten the lives of various people to tell me what it is!"
So many elements of the plot function like this. Nothing has been thought out all that clearly by the writer. It's just a series of disjointed story ideas that you're never meant to look at too closely.
Not only does the plot seem to make little sense but there's not enough of it, either. So much time is spent just wandering around in caves and/or jungles with little or nothing happening. For two seasons, this problem seemed to disappear. Episodes were given enough content to fill them. We didn't need to stall things with uneventful filler. I think, as much as I love my Douglas, I have to lay this one at his feet. He was probably not the best choice for a script editor. In some ways, I still do really think it was cool that he had the job for a bit. But I don't think he was entirely ready for it.
And then, of course, there's the comedy. Little of it is actually all that funny (and, as already discussed, some of it is quite offensive). And the way so many characters are just playing silly caricatures rather than trying to be reasonably straight makes us feel like we're just watching a parody of the show. .Doctor Who, essentially, mocks itself for four episodes. There's probably no story that does this worse than Creature (although, Horns of Nimon does come pretty damned close! We'll get to it soon enough).
There's so much more that I could go on about. But I do want this review to conclude with a semi-reasonable word count! I'll do just a bit of nitpicking before moving on:
Nitpick 1: How does Erato's translator possess hypnotic properties? Why would a translator have this sort of feature? Why does it only get used, now? Wouldn't it have been nicer to activate it sooner rather than crushing people for fifteen years in an attempt to communicate with them? For some reason, this particular plot hole really gets to me. It reminds me of the way Eldrad's powers in Hand of Fear tend to encompass whatever it is the plot needs at the time.
Nitpick 2: There is a door in the throne room that, apparently, leads directly to the pit. Erato is pretty big but he does seem capable of squishing parts of himself down narrower tunnels. Why has he never managed to attack the throne room? He could, in fact, have retrieved his translator, himself. Adastra mentions a firmly-locked door. Is that meant to hold him back? I really doubt it could.
Nitpick 3 (Major Nitpick!): Finally, and most importantly: What the Hell were they thinking when the design team made Erato's "appendages"?! No one can watch any scene where he's waving them about and not think: "Good God! That looks wrong!" Especially when Tom Baker chooses to actually blow into one of them. I know that's one of those weird quirky things that he likes to do but it's such a horrible double-entendre, this time. Seriously, the prop department should have made them look more tendril-like or something to that effect. They should have seen, right on the drawing board. that it was a mistake. It really does look like Erato likes to wander through the tunnels probing things with his penis. I know I don't like to come down too hard on Classic Who for bad visuals. But this one is pretty difficult to forgive!
BURNIN' MANDRELS FOR A CHEAP BUZZ
Next, we get Nightmare of Eden. While the plot of Creature is a gigantic mess, this one actually looks pretty good on paper. Two ships stuck in each other through a warp-drive accident is also a pretty creative idea. The way the Doctor and Romana react to the problem when they first see it is quite amusing. I even like the joke about Galactic Salvage that happens a short while later. The comedy does almost seem under control for a bit.
But then, that problem that irked Douglas Adams so much starts to arise. Actors in this season love to latch on to any comical element they create and blow it way out of proportion. The character of Tryst is the best example of this. I don't think there's a single line that he delivers that he's trying to take seriously. A consistent effort is made all the way through the four parts to just sound as absolutely silly as possible.
He is, in fact, demonstrating a new form of trope abuse that happens exclusively in Season Seventeen. We hadn't seen it since The Underwater Menace back in the mid-60s. But, now, we're getting it twice in the same year. Suddenly, every brilliant scientist in the show has to have the fakest-sounding of foreign accents. Kerensky wasn't too grating. For the most part, we find him quite endearing (although that weird disco move he does as Scaroth turns on the time machine with him still in it is a very bizarre choice for the actor to make!). Tryst, on the other hand, is just completely annoying throughout the whole story. It's particularly irritating that he turns out to be a major villain in the piece but he's still just trying to camp it up.
The two custom officers that show up a bit later are the other major perpetrators of this acting crime. They see that their characters are meant to be bureaucratic idiots and play it up for all its worth. They could have represented an interesting side-threat in the story. But, instead, they're just a pair of buffoons.
After that, the casting gets really weird. We have several really wooden characters that juxtapose horribly against the camp.We might not have even noticed their stoicism so much had they not been thrown into such sharp relief against the ones who are overacting. But, instead, we get a collection of performances that all seem very off-kilter from each other.
Finally, we have poor 'ole Captain I Once Played Irongron. The only one who seems to be trying to strike a decent balance between drama and comedy. His actual professionalism makes him almost seem out-of-place.
Ultimately, Nightmare of Eden could have been a very nice dark, gritty tale about intergalactic drug trafficking. It's all certainly there in the script. But its execution is let down, once more, by the Great Tom Baker Comedy Show that is now rampaging, full-force, across the season.
It's really quite sad. The story really is well-written. But, because certain actors can't take it very seriously, it's ruined rather badly.
IT MAY BE A GUILTY PLEASURE BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S ALL THAT GOOD!
With Shada getting cut down in its prime, Horns of Nimon concludes the season prematurely. Thank God, really. Torture is always nicer when it ends early!
This is another story that I have discussed extensively in a previous entry. A few years back, I decided to list my Top Five Guilty Pleasures. These were stories that I know were bad but still, in my heart of hearts, I enjoyed them.
Horns of Nimon ranked fifth on the list (https://robtymec.blogspot.com/2016/05/book-of-lists-top-five-guilty-pleasures.html). As I mentioned right in that essay, part of the reason why it's only fifth place is because there are still some aspects to the story that really are just so bad that I can only like it so much.
The biggest problem of all would be Soldeed. Over the years, certain actors have seen getting a villain part in Doctor Who as a nice opportunity to chew some scenery. Few have gone as far as Graham Crowden did in his role as Soldeed. Perhaps the only other actor to come anywhere close would be the notorious Professor Zaroff from Underwater Menace. In the case of both of these characters, the actors aren't just hamming it up as much as possible - they actually seem terrible at acting. The performances are genuinely poor instead of just over-the-top. Thus making them incredibly painful to watch.
As Soldeed descends into madness after Romana asks him how many Nimons he's seen, it just gets even worse. His actual death scene is a nightmare. We should, in some ways, be a bit happy. A villain has gotten his just desserts. Or, at the very least, we're just glad that Corden can no longer crap all over the story. But his character's final breaths are still just so awfully acted out that it's incredibly uncomfortable right to the bitter end. I just can't stand watching any of what he did. Even when the opportunity to sadistically enjoy his death comes along, I still can't get into it. His performance is just that bad.
At the same time, Tom Baker seems to be taking absolutely nothing seriously, anymore. He just goofs off for the entire four episodes .Some of it is a bit on the witty side. Most of it, however, doesn't really amuse me much. With him and Crowden making a mockery of every scene, there is little or no hope for Horns of Nimon to have any real sense of drama to it. Romana getting stranded on the planet the Nimon are migrating from is about the only time we get anything all that gripping. And that's because she's as far away as possible from the two characters who are systematically destroying the story.
The actual script for the adventure is somewhat passable. The plot does seem to flounder a bit here and there. Because it's not entirely sure where it ought to go next. it dives into some weird digressions. The screeching halt that happens in a latter episode as Sorak has an extended discussion with Soldeed about getting something for nothing from the Nimon is a great example of this. The scene just feels so oddly-placed. It really ruins any momentum the story was building up. It's like the author knew that a scene like this should be dropped in somewhere - but wasn't sure where. So he just took a stab in the dark. And, as is often the case with wild guesses, it wasn't a good choice.
There's still quite a bit about this script that I like. But certainly not as much as Nightmare of Eden. Which makes Horns that bit more difficult to watch. Both of these tales are let down by poor execution. But one, at least, is well-written. The other is a troubled script with all sorts of other problems piled up on top of it.
CONCLUSION
And so, we come to the end of what will probably be my most negative Season Review (although, there are a few seasons of New Who that might not go so well, either!). In defense of Seventeen, it is off to a decent start. Even without my bias, I do think Destiny of the Daleks is pretty good. And City of Death is a near-classic. That's eight episodes that are, at the very least, fairly solid.
But the other twelve are either poor or even downright awful. Two-thirds of the season is, basically, a mess. That's a bit too much.The decent beginning is not enough to elevate things. Some of the re-watches I did in order to properly compose this review were not easy. I pushed through them for the sake of a good entry!
Tom Baker, by this point, is completely out of control. Talk to me all you want about his talent and charisma, but it seems evident that he has been in the role for too long and is taking his success for granted. In many ways, he is now the show's worst enemy. The time has definitely come for him to leave.
Having said all that, I will still try to end things on a positive note. Throughout all the madness of Season Seventeen, there is one constant that truly impresses me. Lalla Ward really does maintain a gorgeous professional detachment from all the other bad choices actors are making around her. She will have fun with the part a bit here and there. But only when it seems to truly suit the moment. And, when required to play things straight (even if it means having to take fleshy-headed Minotaurs in bad platform boots seriously) she steps beautifully up to the plate and delivers the appropriately-serious performance that's required of her. I am seriously amazed by her sense of judgement.
If only the guest cast followed her example rather than Tom's.
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